My Thoughts on Dating as a Millennial

Okay, so maybe all of my single friends are on tinder. So what? Maybe I am too. Sue me.

Here’s the deal people: there is a so-called dating crisis. I don’t agree. I see happy couples every day. I don’t think there’s a crisis, I think people are more dedicated to their careers than ever before, and people are careful to get married because they saw how hard it was when their parents divorced as a kid. Call millennials careless, and selfish, and tell us we’re promoting a hookup culture, please, we’d all love to hear it again.

I am a female and have little to no desire to get married. I have end goals that revolve around my career and personal health. I do not think its fair to call a woman selfish because of her lack of desire to have kids or marry. If you see a man who is a powerful executive and doing well for himself, he gets “good on him”. Now in the millennial generation, more women are focusing on other things and are being called selfish. This is the real crisis. It does not make me cold to want to  excel in my career before I’d ever think about marriage or a child. It makes me ambitious.

Half of today’s marriages end in divorce. It makes me smart as a woman to want to wait as long as I can before I get married. It makes no sense to me why someone would want to rush into signing a piece of paper. Maybe this is why there is a supposed “hook-up culture”. Women like me go on dates, and have fun, but my end goal is not marriage. I do not think it’s wrong to share in companionship as you progress in life! There is NOTHING wrong with today’s dating culture as long as both parties are content in the relationship. At least we’re not rushing into marriage, only to have years of commitment end in divorce.

My advice to women, speaking from a woman’s perspective:

BE TRANSPARENT. Let your S.O. know exactly what you’re looking for before things progress. If you want a hook-up with no emotions involved, tell them. If you want a serious relationship, tell them. If you’re honest from the beginning, and not just expecting things to magically evolve without communication, things will be easier on both of you. Next rule: don’t text or call for three days, if he doesn’t call you, he’s not interested. Also, stop looking for secret motives. Just because he liked your Instagram doesn’t mean he loves you, it probably means he thinks you’re sexy. Sorry dude. There’s plenty more out there. Fall in love with yourself & being alone before you even think about a man.

My advice to men, speaking from a woman’s perspective:

BE TRANSPARENT. If you tell her exactly what you’re looking for, no one gets hurt, because you made your expectations clear. Also, if you’re looking to date, please for the love of GOD don’t take her to a movie. How do you get to know someone at a movie? It all around sucks. 100% of the time. Okay, rant over. Anyways, make your intentions known and take things very slowly and let them progress naturally. Side note: if you’re not into her, tell her. It might hurt, but it hurts less than being ghosted.

I think we’re all gonna be okay. There comes a time where we all decide (or decide not to) settle down. Right now, millennials are on track to be married older than any other generation. Honestly, this is probably a great thing for the divorce rate in the US.

So we can all calm down and keep right swiping.

– Katie Clarkson

 

 

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