How many times have you asked this to yourself?
My guess is.. probably a decent amount of times. I’m here to tell you something. Stop it.
Whatever text you have typed on your phone right now.. delete it & hear me out. Please. 5 minutes?
Let’s say you went through a bad breakup and you’re sad about it. Naturally, most women have the urge to text or call (unless you’re like me & you’re on the opposite end of this spectrum & never want to talk to them again, which I’ll write about someday). You have a text typed up, or you have his contact pulled up on your phone. You’re ready to hit “call” or “send”. How many times have you done this & regretted it?
There’s a term for this. It’s called emotional self-sabotage. Every time you reach out to touch the same flame that burned you, it reminds me of a child touching & burning themselves on the oven, even though everyone tells them not to touch it.
Your ex, or whoever you’re emotionally hung up on, is the hot oven, and you are the naive child. Please, please, stop being the naive child.
Here is a life lesson about people: people do what they want to. As women, we often look for excuses as to why our love interest is behaving in a certain manner.
Here are some examples:
“He isn’t calling because he’s scared I won’t answer.”
“He isn’t texting because I hurt his ego.”
“He bailed on me because he’s scared to get hurt.”
THIS IS NOT TRUE. PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY WANT. Especially men. Repeat after me: “if he wanted to call, he would!”
Men are not complicated creatures that overthink everything like women do. Our brain chemistry is different. If he’s out at the bar with friends on Snapchat, having fun, he is having fun! He is not trying to make your blood boil, 99% of the time, he may not even be giving his ex a second thought.
This is a lesson that I learned from men, and has greatly benefitted my dating life: live in the moment and do not overthink. If something doesn’t workout, put on your big girl pants, stop subtweeting them, go to the gym & go out with friends. You’ll feel 100x better than if you stayed on the couch crying. Fake it till you make it. Eventually, he may even realize what he missed out on seeing you have so much fun, all on your own (but this should never be the objective of going out & having fun!)
So seriously, follow your ex-boyfriend’s lead and put your phone down, for the love of God!